February 2012
0 posts
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
"SCREAMING ON PLANET TITUS" SPRING 2012 TOUR
lewisandhisblog:
titusandronicusllc:
“SCREAMING ON PLANET TITUS”
TITUS ANDRONICUS
SCREAMING FEMALES
DIARRHEA PLANET
3 / 4 - ASBURY PARK, NJ - THE STONE PONY TICKETS FACEBOOK
3 / 5 - BALTIMORE, MD - OTTOBAR TICKETS
3 / 6 - RICHMOND, VA - STRANGE MATTER TICKETS
3 / 7 - NASHVILLE, TN - THE FREAKIN’ WEEKEND @ THE END TICKETS
3 / 9 - ATHENS, GA - CALEDONIA LOUNGE (18+) TICKETS
3 /10 - ATLANTA,...
asiajewel:
You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you...
Drowning my sorrows in Airborne, orange juice, and...
I will not be sick for Mardi Gras! I refuse!!
